Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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