The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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