It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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