i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
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studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
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Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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