I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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