So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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