sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
