Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
