So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
