There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
