I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize