as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
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They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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