Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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