I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
