Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
