i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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