IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Text me some of your sweat
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