gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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