so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
