Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
