Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
