Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize