i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
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im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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