I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
