This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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