your parents love me but you hate me
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
