You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
