well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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