McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
people are starting to question the shark bite story
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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