my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize