nut hugger
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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