So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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