I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
