Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
