forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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