Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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