Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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