I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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