Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
