Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
