I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
