I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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