Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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