Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
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Best friends brother. Beat that.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
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I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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