Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
