We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize