Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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