I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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