you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Do vagina's smell?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Randomize
