Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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