He is such a slut. More and more my type.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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