you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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