I hate all girls vehemently.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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