Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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