your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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