It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
