I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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