I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
