Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
