Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
what food is Colorado known for?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated