TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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