If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
These Little Things Make People Overly Angry
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
These Medical Professionals Recall the Worst Cases of Hypochondria They’ve Seen
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS