my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
