Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
