We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
